I separated from Iko´s father about four months ago, I would´ve liked to try more but we were so far apart that it was too late. What hurts the most is the loss of something that could´ve been a family. I´ve always wanted something bigger than me, something I could fight and die for. A unity in wich I would face the world as a force. It took my relationship falling apart for me to realise that it will never happen. It´s not a defeat but an insight, I´m my own unity, there´s no love so great that it will give me the strenth to be something I´m not or not ready to be. My son does not cary this burden and nor will love. I´ve changed, I´m not out there hunting for life, I´m not out there waiting to be saved. So christmas was hard, I realised that my relationship was truly over and that I´d fooled myself into thinking that we just might have a chance. It´s like getting my heart broken all over again. I wish a year had already passed.
December 27, 2008 | Filed in: Uncategorized | No comments
It´s monday and I´m at home getting down from the buzz of recording. After three weeks of intense work we have a three week break seeing as it´s christmas and new year. I`ve spent a few days getting my home back together and just landing from my “high”(of recording) It´s like a comedown, my brain has been on overdrive and has crashlanded. I´m really enjoying some time with my son Iko who is an incredibly charming two-year old, I´m so thankfull for having him to keep me centered and grounded. A few years back I would´ve been out blowing off steam and money I don´t have. Ive tried going out but since I don´t drink anymore after awhile I start to see human ruin at it´s best and then I know it´s time to go home. I´ve done my share of partying and it is not what it once was. There´s a time for everything.
December 27, 2008 | Filed in: Uncategorized | No comments
It´s so hard to have written a song and then have someone else put thier stamp on it. Today we started recording “Hurricane”, a song that has been so clear in my head since I wrote it, Magnus, my co-producer, put a synth bassline on it and right at once I wanted to scream STOPP but stepped back and let him do it. It´s so interesting how you have to kill your darlings to make a better song and how it feels really weird at first and then makes so much more sence. Back to work!
December 17, 2008 | Filed in: Recording, Uncategorized, studio | 1 comment
Magnus Henriksson aka [existensminimum] lives with his family outside of Norrköing in an old school that has been renovated into thier home. With a studio in the attic it is an ideal inviroment for making my second album. I´ve been through some big changes in my life and luckily I´ve been able to write through it all and found a way to get through heartache and a reevaluation of my life. This blogg is a way for me to let you in on the procces of the making of my second album and to let you take part of my everyday life as such. Today I´ve had to really struggle to focus, I always become really tired at the end of the year but it´s been a productive day and we have managed o set a tone for a one of the songs. It`s a song called The Contract and it´s about how you can never get away from the disappointments that come with life and how everything eventually changes.
December 16, 2008 | Filed in: Recording, studio | No comments
