Christmas

I separated from Iko´s father about four months ago, I would´ve liked to try more but we were so far apart that it was too late. What hurts the most is the loss of something that could´ve been a family. I´ve always wanted something bigger than me, something I could fight and die for. A unity in wich I would face the world as a force. It took my relationship falling apart for me to realise that it will never happen. It´s not a defeat but an insight, I´m my own unity, there´s no love so great that it will give me the strenth to be something I´m not or not ready to be. My son does not cary this burden and nor will love. I´ve changed, I´m not out there hunting for life, I´m not out there waiting to be saved. So christmas was hard, I realised that my relationship was truly over and that I´d fooled myself into thinking that we just might have a chance. It´s like getting my heart broken all over again. I wish a year had already passed.

Spara / dela med dig av den här posten: